The Story of Loss, Love, and Healing
by Ginger and Gallifreyan
Summary: AU: She thought it couldn't get worse. But it did, and it seems there is no way out this time.


**I was going to put this in The Thoughts And Writings of Haruno Sakura, but I thought this would be a better as its own story, because it's going to be a multi-chapter.**

**This was inspired by the song _Blue_ by First Aid Kit.**

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**Blue**

Sakura is on a train, on her way to a new job she's gotten in the city, as an editor at a publishing company. She's trying so hard to start over, but it's leaving her exhausted. One could see it on her face. Dark circles under her eyes, a defeated look inside. Like other people, she won't look at anyone else on the train. She wants to be so far away from them, preferably curled up in bed, with the lights off and watching reruns of _Friends_. But, to be in bed, she'd need an apartment to put it in and she'd need money if she wanted to stay there. And you can't always have what you want. If she did, she'd still have Sasuke and Naruto.

But she didn't. And that was the end of it. She knew that cowering under the covers and shutting herself off from the world was not helping. Her parents stopped paying for her, her other friends stopped seeing her. They were sick of her bullshit, sick of her moping around and feeling sorry for herself. They felt sympathy for her, but she really had to pull it together, they told her. Sasuke and Naruto had been their friends, too, but they had to move on, because they were alive and those two weren't.

At first, this had angered her. How dare they tell her how to feel? How did they know what it was like to be driving the car that they died in? How could they be so insensitive? But, slowly, it dawned on her that there was nowhere to go but up.

And so she got out of bed. Brushed her hair, changed her clothes, changed her attitude and went out and got a job, while searching for a better one. She lived on coffee and adrenaline. She was living again.

But as the date approached the anniversary of their deaths, she began to slow. There was less adrenaline and more coffee. She began feeling lethargic and added energy drinks to the mix. That was her diet now, caffeine and more caffeine. And she was tired. So tired.

She thought it couldn't get worse. But it did, and it seems there is no way out this time.

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**I Bet You Used To Be Real Sexy**

Suigetsu is on the same train, and he has a job in the city, too. He's a lawyer. Or, at least, he will be. He's interning at some fancy corporate firm. It's an odd job for the likes of him, but he enjoys arguing and, of course, the money. His hands are behind his head, his legs crossed, when he notices the girl.

She has the strangest shade of strawberry blonde he's ever seen. It barely touches her slim shoulders, which are hunched over, probably reading a book. It's her hair that draws him to her, as insignificant as it seems. But that's the truth, end of story. No lies will be told here.

He gets up and goes over and sits next to her. Her shoulders seem to sag a little more, but otherwise, she ignores him. He gets a good look at her, though. He's blown away by her looks.

God, she's beautiful. There's no way he's just going to sit here and let her get off this train without her number. So he opens his mouth and says-

"I bet you used to be real sexy."

Jesus H. Christ, how could he have _said_ that? What kind of pick up line was that? _God_, he thinks, _I've really blown it this time_.

But she looks up at him, a little surprised, then her features relax. With the smallest smile-he almost misses it-she says, "I'm sure I was."

And that's how, by the time they both get off the train, he's got her number.

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**This Is Slightly Crazy, But Call Me, No Maybes**

As she leaves the station, Sakura realises what she's just done.

Given her number to a guy she met on a train. Granted, he was really attractive, and clean-cut, too-one of those hotshot lawyer types. But what if he's one of those creepers? Or a killer, like the ones on _Dateline_? What if he's like Ted Bundy?

And what about Sasuke? Yes, he was dead now. But they were going to get married. No, he hadn't proposed, but everyone thought he would. They had talked through entire nights about their future, together. Now that was all gone, and she knows it. But she feels like she's insulting his memory. She feels like the most shallow person on Earth. The love of her life died just a year ago now she's gone and gotten some stranger's number and practically agreed to go on a date. Her face flushes with shame at this realisation. Isn't she supposed to wait a few years, to let the wounds heal? Did this make her one of _those_ women- the ones who care nothing for their partner except for their money?

These thoughts ran in circles through her head as she struggled through her first day.

What a sucky first day.

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**Watering Dying Flowers**

Truth be told, the people he works with are total assholes. Sometimes, Suigetsu wonders why he even bothers. But he's comforted by the fact that he's smarter than them, and that in time he'll be high above them, and make them kiss his ass. And, honestly? He enjoys a challenge.

This is what makes him pick up his phone and think about calling Sakura. That's her name. It's a common name, but he can understand why her parents gave her name. Her incredible hair. He is tossing the cell phone from one hand to another, and wonders why he's thinking about calling her. Why hasn't he done that already? What, was he thirteen again, after he had gotten that college girl's number? He never did call that girl. Big fucking mistake, that was. He never saw her after that party. He wasn't going to make that mistake again. He flips through his contacts until he finds her name, and taps call.

It rings once, twice, thr-

"_Hello?_" Wow. He expected it to last through three rings.

"Hey. It's me, Suigetsu."

"_I'm sorry, who?_"Seriously? Did she seriously forget him?

"This morning. On the train. Remember?"

"_Oh! Right! I'm so sorry_…"

"No, no, it's okay. I'm sure you had a ton of other things on your mind." He's trying not to let his arrogance win him over and just hang up. He's got this little voice in his head telling him who knows what could happen with this girl and, strangely enough, he's listening to it. "I know I should probably ask you out somewhere right now, but that's just like, been there, done that, turned it into a cliché. Why don't you tell me about yourself, and I'll tell you about myself?"

"_Like… now? Over the phone_?"

"Texts and emails just aren't very classy, you know?"

He is still up when his room mate, Juugo, comes home from his late-night shift at the local animal clinic.


End file.
